1st Chapter Sneak Peak

"So I ask for your forgiveness

And your strength as I travel on this path

In hopes that your mercy is better than your wrath

Because I know the goodness of my soul can overpower the evil of my sins

And as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

In Jesus name I pray

Amen”

 

As I finish my prayer I continued to let the hot water run down my forehead while leaning against the wall of the shower. Standing frozen in that position I embraced the cleansing feeling of the water as though it is washing away all my sins and re-baptizing me, leaving me with the feeling of being born again. And though only minutes passed it felt as I had began my eternal walk with Christ and I was finally at peace, before my mind began to slowly shift back into reality. The reality in which I have brought upon myself, the harsh reality in which I had just had sex with another girl that I have no feelings for.

 

“Davia you ok in there?” a young lady hollers in the background.

 

“Damn. Back to reality,” I mutter quietly to myself before hollering back to her. “I’m ok, I’ll be out soon!”

 

Here we go again! Now I have to go back to ‘MY’ bed, with another girl that I would like to kick out ‘MY’ room! Can’t tell her that though, I don’t want her to think I just used her.

 

“Why do I continue to make this mistake,” I say to myself stepping out of the shower.

 

“You ok? You were in there for awhile,” she says in a concerned voice.

 

“Yeah, I just thought about this poem I want to write.”

 

“What’s it about?” she asks sitting up from my bed with a intrigued look on her face.

 

“I don’t even know….”

 

It’s about the sex we just had and how even though it was good… I feel bad now because I’m slowly killing myself.

 

“Ok, well I’m tired so I’ll probably be sleep by the time you get in bed,” she says in this sexy voice.

 

“That’s because I wore that ass out.” I mutter to myself with a slight smile on my face.

 

“What did you say?”  She asks catching the tail end of my mumbling.

 

“Oh nothing,” I say looking up at her smiling. “Goodnight, I’ll be to bed in a minute…. Montia.”

 

Wow that was close. I almost called her another girl’s name.

 

“Alright goodnight.”

 

Ok, let me sit down at this computer and try to write this poem.

 

“I did it

I did it again

I gave into temptation

Fornication with no relation

And now I’m afraid that if I piss I will feel some burning sensation

But don’t jump to any conclusions

Yeah I used a condom…

But what does that really mean…

Oh… I know what it means

It means that when I flush my seamen down the toilet that one more of my unborn kids will suffer from another one of these pipe dreams

And to be honest it wasn’t worth it

I’m so stupid…

I can’t find love in the first kiss or even the first night

But it wasn’t a one night stand or even the first sight

It was first night or first time we really spent time together

We didn’t even give or friendship time to get worse or even to get better

I just gave in, kept pushing to her walls caved in

But in your eyes does that make me a P.U.S.S.Y because I keep committing the same sin

Or does it make me a man because her P.U.S.S.Y I played in

Does that make me a man because men like me violate these woman

When in reality we forget that men don’t make the pussy

But pussy made men”

 

Photography